Saturday, November 8, 2008


Don't know how long this will last, but I'm blogging live now. I know, give me a medal.

We're down 28-0. The only thing more disappointing is that Bob Davie is calling the game for the Deuce.

• 11:31: Hawkins is running hard. That guy's gonna leave it on the field. Unfortunately, Mackenzi is too. He's still in the game. And we're still running up the middle.

• 10:15: Mackenzi running for his life and now we're punting again. It's still 28-0. In five minutes it'll be 56-0.

• Upson punting for the fourth time in 18 minutes. 38 yard punt.

• Florida is outscoring opponents 138-22 in the first quarter this season. I don't feel quite so bad.

Player of the game so far: Chris Nickson, he hasn't fumbled or thrown an interception yet. Of course, he hasn't played, either.

• 8:40: We've actually got the Gators offense starting inside our 35. Whoops, one play and they're across the 50. Did I mention that the strength of our team is the defense?

• 7:30: You know, I just realized that Florida is a great team. A great, great team. Or we're a really, really... No, Florida is a great, great team.

• 6:35: It's 2nd and 3 but time out because Percy Harvin just ran out of his shoes.

• 5:46: OK, so Harvin just dove in the end zone and appears to have scored before the play was ruled a fumble. But the refs are taking an awful long time to deliberate. They're saying, "Sure, he scored but those Vanderbilt kids study so hard and they've lost all these years and hey, they're getting killed in this game."

• 5:38: And we get the call. Our ball on the 20. It does appear to be the wrong one even though that boob Bob Davie would agree with me.

• 5:19: But we just got another holding call. And now Mackenzi runs the ball up the middle. Did I mention he's still in the game?

• Bob Davie just said "Vandy hasn't scored more than 14 points in the last three games." That would be the last four games, Davie, and the last five counting this one. And it's "Vanderbilt." Do your research.

• 3:25: Hey, we've got the ball near our 40 with a first down. Hope springs eternal. Except that Mackenzi just dropped back to pass. And fell down.

• 2:24: Bob Dorkie just said that the "Wake Forest offense line is so young." Ah, it's Vanderbilt. Now Mackenzi is running for a first down. Except that every guy on the Florida defense is faster than he is and he's four yards short of a first.

• 1:35: Great, Brett Upson is punting for the fifth time this half. Florida did not go after the block. That Urban Meyer is a real gentleman. But they won't be falling on the ball to end the half. I promise you that.

• How many stinking times is Bob Dorkie gonna say that Tebow is gonna win the Heisman and Florida is gonna win the national championship?

• 1:23: Bad news, the announcers from the Deuce say. Mackenzi Adams is hurt and headed for the locker room. Bad news? LARRY SMITH! LARRY SMITH! LARRY SMITH!

• 0:55: Tebow's booking down the field but illegal motion on the Gators. Hey, if we can keep them from scoring this half, we'll be on track to lose 56-0, which will be better than 63-5, which is how bad next week's opponent Kentucky lost to the Gators. (But let's not talk about the Wildcats' near upset of the Bulldogs today in Lexington.

• 0:28. We just roughed Tim Tebow. You can't rough Tim Tebow. He's really a fullback.

• 0:17: Steven Stone just sacked Tebow. Nice. That's a moral victory. And don't tell me there's no such thing as a moral victory.

• Now Bob Dorkie's talking about how the academics at Vanderbilt "are beating down" the Commodore players.

• Whoops. Tebow throws a 41-yard touchdown to the 12th string tight end. The nearest defender is 25 yards away. 35-0. Bobby Johnson is being shown on TV and he looks like he's 75 years old.


• Now Dorkie's saying that Tebow's gonna win the Heisman and Florida's the best team in the nation.

• I bet we fall on the ball and head to the locker room.

• No! Chris Nickson throws a long pass! And it's not intercepted! The Commodores are full of surprises.

Halftime. Player of the game: Chris Nickson because he threw one pass and it wasn't intercepted.


Allison Kennedy said...

Somewhat unrelated: Tonight we had cheese grits with Gruyere. Mr. Owen will take your lead and fry them for b'fast in the morning.


That's a heck of a lot more interesting than this football game. My top three teams in America:

1. Florida Gators
2. Alabama Crimson Tide
3. Cheese Grits with Gruyere

Anonymous said...

The wife failed to mention that the gruyerits were accompanied by the traditional apple-smoked poke t'loin. The reason that is relevant is that it moves the team past Bama and Florida ... easily.