Player of the game: Nobody. We stink, especially Mackenzi Adams.
VANDERBILT'S THIRD DRIVE
• DJ Moore takes the snap and gets a couple yards. We're on our own 15. Wow, we're getting bad field position.
• Hawkins gets about 4. Hey, think we can get a first down.
• Mac keeps the ball and GETS A FIRST DOWN! Our offense just moved up to 116th in the nation.
• Nice pass to Barden, who's on the loose up past the 40. Back to back first downs. Barden is a real weapon.
• Hawkins gets another 4 yards. 2nd & 6.
• Now Jared's off to the races and gets 13 yards and another first down. Jamie Graham and George Smith threw some nice blocks.
• Adams now racing down the field and then gets hit way out of bounds. Stupid play by Duke. Our guys are smarter. Our school is better.
• Now 1st and 10, and Graham takes the direct snap. I like it. Get the ball in the hands of your playmakers so they can, you know, make plays.
• Two tight end set with Barden and Bradford. Run by Jennings. Third and 7. End of first quarter. Hey, let's score a touchdown.
• The Vanderbilt broadcasting team is interviewing the director at the Mall of Green Hills. Exciting.
• We hold and give up a sack. Our offense peters out. Hahnfeldt booting a 34-yarder. It's up and it's no good. Wide left. Having a 96 percent success rate in the red zone didn't do much for us there.
DUKE FOURTH DRIVE
• Our D is playing tough, flying around. Marve is a force in the middle. Third and 8.
• Incomplete pass. We're getting the ball back. DJ needs to take one to the house.
• What's up with our two-man punt return formation.
• DJ loses the punt in the sun and gets out of the way, then it takes a Devil bounce. 48 yd punt.
VANDERBILT FOURTH DRIVE
• Hey, I was wondering, what's our longest play from scrimmage this season? We haven't had a lot of big plays this season, outside of DJ's two big punt returns against MiaO and Rice, and Ryan Hamilton's interception return against Ole Miss.
• We're wearing all black. Adams is sacked. Probably not related. Mackenzi has been sacked three times, one-third of Duke's sacks in prior games, and a third of the sacks we've given up all season.
• Third and 13. George Smith can't hang on to Adams' pass. George Smith quite often can't hang on. Should have had it. Put in somebody who can catch. Oh, and I'm glad we've already won five games this season because we don't look like we can do it ever again.
• Not one of Upson's better punts. Slightly more than 10 minutes left in the half.
DUKE FIFTH DRIVE
• Jay Cutler's at the game. Let's put him in.
• Incomplete pass.
• We're winning the battle for time of possession. Time out. Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.
• OK, we're awake now. We need to pick up a turnover and take it to the house.
• Georgia-LSU started 30 minutes after we did and the score there is 7-7.
• Oh, and Florida beat Kentucky 63-5. Glad we're not playing the Gators today.
• Pass on third and long.
• We're lazy getting back and Duke reels off a quick seven yards.
• We stuff the ball carrier. Third and 2. Tim Fugger's looking good.
• That big backup quarterback picks up another first down to the 35.
• DJ breaks up a pass at the goal line. 2nd and 10. We really need a stop.
• Reshard misses a tackle. Wake up guys! Frosh DB Casey Heyward's in the game for the injured Jared Fagan.
• Pass and another first down to the 23.
• The Duke RB gets nuthin. We need a turnover.
• Incomplete pass. Third and 10. We can't stop em on third down. They're four of eight.
• Myron Lewis drills Thaddeus Lewis from the blindside. Fumble or incomplete pass? If it's a fumble then they're probably out of field goal range. This is a big review. It'll be fourth and either 10 or 20. FUMBLE!
• Now they're kicking a 50-yard field goal. WIDE RIGHT!
• It was a 12 play, 24-yard drive.
Had some technical difficulty there... We go three and out and Upson shanks a punt. We look terrible. Duke's now down to the VU36. 2nd and 11.
• Billinger gets his hand on the ball. 3rd and 11. First down. We stink. Duke's five of 10 on third down conversions. Of course, our offense isn't helping by keeping our defense on the field.
• Oh, touchdown Duke. This is shaping up to be a nightmare. The problem is that our offense is horrible. Once again. This is Miss State all over again, except Duke's defense isn't any good. We're just shooting ourselves in the foot.
COMMODORES WEAVING SOME MORE OFFENSIVE MAGIC
• Adams now 1-5 for 14 yards and an interception.
• Sean Walker thinks he just got shoved in the back but no flag. Adams now 1-6 for 14 yards and an interception.
• Walker's down on the field. Looks like his knee.
• Third and 10 with less than a minute left. Hey, maybe we can give the ball back to Duke and give up another touchdown. Did I mention how horrible we look? And Duke's getting the ball back in good field position. If we don't win today, we can beat Florida in two weeks. Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha.
• Oh, Duke just blocked the punt. And the crowd is booing.
BLUE DEVILS ON THE VU 13. (!)
• 2nd and 23. DJ almost intercepts in the end zone. Almost, of course.
• Delay of game penalty. 3rd and 28 with 00:15 left. Pass down to the 25.
• 43-yard field goal attempt. It's short!
We stink and we're only losing by seven. But this is Duke.